All I Expected

I really need to blog more often.

Winter in Denver is all I expected and more. It's the bomb dot com. I spent the last two days in the mountains with friends. We boarded Vail, Beaver Creek and Breckenridge. The conditions were near perfect for good riding. And the company was fan-freaking-tastic. I have great friends here who like to laugh.

I could hardly ask for anything more.

Winter Wonderland

I like Denver more and more each day. Yesterday I played in the snow with some friends. We sledded down a hill, made snow angels and ran around in a frolicking fashion. It was so wonderful; I didn't even mind my cold feet.

I look forward to the winter for a lot of reasons. Actually, that's not true. Just two reason: snowboarding and general beauty. I mean, snow is so beautiful when it has freshly fallen on your lawn.

And as always, I am excited that holiday season is upon us. This year, that means lots of trips back to Dallas for family, friends, fun and no snow (most likely).

great things

An update of sorts for my loyal readers. All 300 of you...

I am coaching a U12 girls competitive soccer team. It's been an interesting experience. It definitely takes more time and energy than I imagined and it really cuts into my ever-expanding social life. But I have made bonds with some of the girls. I am so happy when I see improvement in them. There a few that really test my patience, but I am learning how to deal with that. All in all, I'd say I'm glad I took the role of coach. But for the record, playing is more fun.

Personal training - is also not what I expected it to be. It's a roller coaster ride...sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it. I really like a few of my clients. One in particular, Casey, is awesome. She is 24 years old and heavy enough to be on The Biggest Loser. I know it's hard and embarrassing for her to get in the gym, but she does it anyway. I have trained her for a month now and she's lost 10 pounds and 6.5 inches. She was so excited today when I measured her. It was a priceless moment. It's a good feeling knowing that you're contributing to someone's happiness and health so much. That makes me want to stick to training, regardless of the crap it involves sometimes.

Editing - still working on the Nat. Geo project and it's wonderful. I got to work with the Executive Producer a while back for a few hours. He called me the Harry Potter of editing. Kind of weird...but what he meant was that I move my fingers so fast, to him I might as well be doing wizardry. I think that's what he meant at least. I'm also beginning to do promo videos for a kettlebell gym and I'm so excited about that. Why? Because I'm doing it on trade; which means I'll get to take kettlebell classes consistently. Which is something I've wanted to do for a while.

Boyfriend - let me just post this post secret instead of talk about it. I will say one thing, breaking up is extremely hard.

Love and Death

My maternal grandmother is literally on her deathbed. She has a rare bone marrow disease that basically sucks all her good blood cells out of her blood. It is to the point where blood transfusions and medicine are of no help. She is just terribly weak all the time and now can't even sit up. So she is going to die. She has decided to die. My Mom said she has let go of the idea of living and fighting to stay alive any longer. She made that decision almost a week ago. Yet, she is still alive. I think it's instinct to live, ya know. She is ready to go, her body is barely functioning, but she's not gone yet. It's a strange thing...waiting to die...can you imagine? Going to sleep and thinking, I really might not wake up this time...

It's not just her waiting, it's all of us. I keep waiting for the phone call from home, waiting to make plans to travel back for a funeral, waiting to start making a memorial video, waiting to grieve.

The family waits. My Mom has stayed there for a whole week straight taking care of my grandma every second of every day. She even sleeps with her so she can monitor her breathing while she slumbers. It's a care that comes from such a deep kind of love that there needs to be a new word for love to describe it. It is the same selfless caring for that I witnessed my Mom give my Uncle when he was dying. It's beautiful. But it's awful. Because she knows her Mom is going to die at any given minute, regardless of the care she's giving. So she waits without rest. Waits to say goodbye, waits to let go, waits to fall apart.

And my grandpa, Opa. Poor, waiting man. No one in a million years thought he would out live her. For so many reasons, Oma dying first makes no sense. He waits to let go of her too; but in the mean time is letting go of his mind. It's too much for him to handle, to deal with. As my Mom said the other day, he doesn't know up from down right now.

It's devastating and it's unfair. But death does brings meaning to life...to her well-lived life and to my life and to your life and to the lives of those before her. Not only does it bring meaning, it brings about that new word for love. That deep, rich, forgiving love that is easiest to give in the hardest of situations.

"Heather, what have you been doing lately?"

Well, I'm glad you asked.

First things first, I am working on the best video project I have ever had the chance to work on. It is for a show that will air on National Geographic Channel in the Fall...there are 9 episodes scheduled to air. The show is called The Music Nomad and it follows host Jacob, a music producer and expert, around the world to expose the diversity of world music. The first 3 episodes were shot in India, the second 3 will be shot in Jamaica, and the final 3 will take place in the U.S. So far I have worked on one of the India episodes. The show is interesting, funny, shot beautifully and moves well. It is a huge honor to be an editor on it. I feel very fortunate to have met up with the guys who I am working with. Kelly and Rod...you guys rock!

Secondly, I started working as a Personal Trainer at 24 Hour Fitness about a month ago. I was so excited to begin this new line of work. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm has quickly faded. I do really enjoy training people, but the job is about so much more at 24. It's about numbers and selling and clocking in and clocking out and percentages and putting on a "face" and not really being a person but an employee number. It's so corporate. Too corporate. I forgot what it was like to work for "the man". I remember fully now. It knocks the wind out of me. It drains me. I'm not too sure how much longer I want to be there. Ideally, I would love to work in a small studio or do in-home training. I know I need some experience first, which is why (I keep telling myself) I am working at this huge, stupid gym. Some of my co-workers are cool, so at least I'm making new friends.

I moved this last week. Just from a basement in Golden to a basement in Lakewood. I am SO much happier with my current living situation. This new house has a lot of good vibes and energy...and no dogs. Not that I'm a dog-hater, but if I can choose between living with dogs or not, I'm choosing not. I am geographically closer to EVERYTHING I do on a regular basis. I can ride my bike to the gym. Love it. I think the old house had bad vibes to me. As you know from previous blogs, I was pretty homesick and depressed for about 2 months when I moved here. I feel good now; but those old feelings kind of hung out in the old house. It was so refreshing to be away from them. It feels like a new start and I needed that.

Summer is here and it is beautiful in CO. It has rained a lot lately, which makes everything a brilliant green. I fully intend on getting outside as much as possible for the next several months. It isn't humid here, unlike TX. What a wonderful thing!!! Dry heat!

I still have the boyfriend...which is sort of an amazing thing to me. This is by far the longest I've been in a relationship. We met over a year ago! Things are pretty good, not perfect, but I suppose no relationship is. Working on "us" is rewarding and provides quite a lot of life lessons.

So all in all, life is good in Denver. I am happy that I live here and look forward to what the future holds for me in this beautiful place.

An Old Poem with No Title

I wrote this when I was studying abroad in the Pacific Rim way back in 2001. I actually wrote a lot of poems then and most of them are pretty lame. But I actually like this one a lot.

I wait with yearning,
when will you arrive?
I sit alone
saving a seat by my side.

An hour has passed
and I still wait.
I glance at my watch;
why are you so late?

Now I am pacing,
biting my nails too.
My heart is in turmoil:
as per usual with you.

The night is gone
daylight creeps in.
I wipe away my tears
and I begin to grin.

I realize you were also waiting,
just in another place.
We'll figure it out some time,
but today was not our day.

Coming Soon...

a new blog...with full updates on all areas of my life...be excited...be VERY excited...

(but not too excited)

Courage Quote

"Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear, the moving out against the resistance engendered by fear into the unknown and into the future."

- The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

This book is amazing and I can't put it down. I urge you, take a risk this week...do something that scares you. Use your courage.

Eggs

I have a lot of eggs in my basket right now. Most of them are possibilities...but very likely possibilities. I'd like to tell you about these eggs so you have some idea of my life here in Colorado....which I am easing into more and more everyday.

1- Personal Training. I have been studying to get my personal trainer certification through NASM for about 3 weeks now. I am taking the certification exam next Tuesday!!! So this is cram week for me. Once I pass the exam then I'm certified and I will immediately look for jobs at gyms... most likely 24 Hour Fitness. Apparently they are a good gym for newbie trainers. I am so excited about this! I've been progressively getting more and more into fitness since I graduated from college. And I feel like now is perfect time to explore it as a career. So, DROP AND GIVE ME 20 FATTIE!

2- Boot Camp Coach. There is a company here called BCOR Fitness (www.bcor.net) and they host boot camps all over the metroplex. I am going to be a coach. First I have to take 10 classes as a student, then do a day long training, take a test, then shadow a coach, then be an assistant coach, THEN run my own boot camp. It's a bit of process, yes. But I really enjoyed doing boot camp back in Dallas and I think I can definitely be useful as a coach. ANNNNND, it gets me outside more. Outside is beautiful here. I took my first class last night and it kicked my butt. It was wonderful.

3- Timekiller Studios. This is an old co-worker's new company consisting of a few guys in Dallas. They specialize in motion graphics and animation. They are absolutely amazing. I've jumped in as a sales person...I'm trying to get them business...here, there or anywhere. So far I've booked one job here...a motivation speaker needed a video. So I actually went and shot the event and now Timekiller is gonna make it all fancy and nice. I'll post it here when they finish. Anyway, if you or anyone you know need an amazing video made, let me know. Check them out at: www.timekillerstudios.com

4- Sampling. This job is slightly lame. Target now has people who hand out samples on the weekends to shoppers...very much like Sams Club. Well, there is a staffing agency who books all those samplings. I am one of those people handing you samples. It's a part time weekend gig that has helped me get by since moving here. I have sampled all kinds of weird things such as string cheese, flavored water, beef jerky nuggets, activia yogurt, fiber one bars, and more. I generally eat or drink a lot of whatever I'm sampling...so that's a perk. I don't plan on sampling anymore once I get gym work. YAY!

5- AdvoCare. AdvoCare is a company that I made A LOT of videos for in Dec, Jan and Feb. It is a nutritional supplement company. I started using a lot of the supplements and really liked them...so I signed up to be a distributor. I can't say I've done a ton with it, but it's there for me TO DO something with when I want to.

6- Soccer Coach. I interviewed last week to coach soccer for a club here in the Fall. It was the most intense interview EVER. The people of Evergreen, CO take youth soccer very seriously. I have long thought about transitioning my love of playing into coaching. Looking back on my soccer career, I can't remember how many games my teams won or lost, what drills we ran at practice, the faces of all my teammates, what color we were, but I can easily remember every coach I ever had. Easily. And because of that, I want to be a soccer coach...it is a sure way to make a difference in kids lives. Since this soccer club is so serious, I have no idea if they'll offer me a position. But if they do, I am going to take it. I think it'd be a great first coaching experience. ANNNND it'll get me outside more.

7- Heather Hubbard, the Video Editor. I am still pursuing my video career. It is really hard to book jobs here. I am actually flying to Dallas for a week in May to work at Fox Sports. Yes, I have to go to Dallas to get work. Sheesh. There is a job pending here...it would be working on a pilot for the National Geographic channel. I REALLY hope to get that!!! But I won't know for a bit... Check me out at www.heatherhubbard.net

So my basket is pretty full. Once these possibilites become a reality, I will be quite busy. On a side note, I found out yesterday that The Avett Brothers are coming to Colorado for 4 days in a row in August!!! OH THE JOY!

Happies

There are things that make me happy and always will. Live music is one of those. I found some cool people in Denver who are extremely warm, welcoming, fun and, best of all, have great taste in music...by great I mean, in line with my taste. I've already gone to 3 shows with them...Bishop Allen, Mates of State and Cold War Kids. I feel alive at shows. I always have. And watching people who excel at their passion is inspiring. It makes me want to do things. Any things.

I love this picture of Cold War Kids. It was such a stellar show. Their music rattles me.