Popping the Bubble

I'm starting a blog. I blog on myspace sometimes, but I don't like how it only allows you to have a certain amount of post before it starts deleting old ones. Plus I've had a lot to say lately...and all my new friends and plenty of old are on blogspot...therefore, I'm blogging now. This first post is actually just a copy of my last post on myspace. Here goes:

I have now been out of college longer than I was in it. Which is kind of unbelievable to me...how did I reach this age so fast? Time is a crazy thing. It's the most consistent element in nature, yet it seems like it moves at such an inconsistent rate; sometimes it's the turtle, sometimes it's the rabbit. But regardless, we always wake up older.

Going back to Edmond, to O.C. (my college), makes my head heavy with memories, good and bad ones. This weekend when I was there, though, it was less about memories and more about self-realization (which seems to be my life theme for 2006). Man, I've changed. Not only in my appearance, but in my person. I was very closed off in college...closed off to people out of the norm, to spirtual truths that seemed strange...I lived in, as some know it, the "O.C. Bubble." It was a happy place, but I'm so glad I popped it and stepped out.

The last 4+ years of post-grad life have been far from easy. I've been hurt a lot, made a load of mistakes, and been in the wrong. But I wouldn't change any of it, for it's all been instrumental in who I am now. And I like who I am now much more than that sheltered girl I was at age 19.

I do wish that I could go back to that time, knowing what I know now, and re-live my college years. I would care less about trying to be cool and just be myself. I would befriend those who are eccentric and artistic, rather those who are dull cookie cutter images of each other. I would walk around with my arms stretched wide and spin, rather than walk quickly with my head down and my arms crossed. I would visit other churches, even of other denominations, until I found one that I actually fit in with.

But of course I can't go back and change that time. So I'll take it for what it was worth. And I will learn from it...learn from the past, girl, don't re-live it.