Hard

Being a parent would be hard.

I remember trying out for the 7th grade cheerleading squad. My sister, a year older than me, tried out for the 8th grade squad. I made it, she did not. I remember seeing my name on the list when it was posted and being excited. I went to find my Mom to tell her. I found her down the hall, hugging my sister, both of them crying. I walked the other way because I didn't know what to do.

Looking back, I realize there was no way my Mom could have shown equal excitement and sadness for me and my sister. So she chose one...the most logical choice of course was to grieve with my sister. And I understood that. But that doesn't mean that I wasn't disappointed at the time. I missed my celebration.

Even the people you're closest to and love the most will still hurt you; they have to...there is no way around it. I know I disappoint my people all the time. And I hate that; just like I know my Mom hated that day.

It's just hard, life; it's just hard.